Names and locations have been changed to protect the identities of those in this writing. This is a true story.
In the quiet suburb of Warrington, VA, real estate aficionado Ryler Toss had just opened his own brokerage and was about to unknowingly embark on an appointment that would leave his professional composure and sanity teetering on the edge. Desperate for clients for his new business, Ryler was about to learn a lesson that would change the course of his professional trajectory.
The protagonists of this saga, the Smiths—Jane, with her penchant for unpredictability, and John, whose most notable feature was his ability to leave the room at the most inopportune moments—were ready to sell their charming home, a house that had clearly seen more drama than an episode of the Bachelorette.
As Ryler parked his aged, but meticulously polished SUV in their driveway, he organized his usual arsenal of real estate presentations, but this time with his new company name and logo. Ryler took note of some of the home’s exterior winning features, ready to earn his first listing as a new company. However, no amount of prep could have braced him for the whirlwind that was Jane Smith.
From the get-go, the listing presentation felt less like a professional endeavor and more like a pilot episode for a sitcom about awkward encounters. Whenever John excused himself—be it to answer nature’s call or chase down some paperwork—Jane transformed. With the intensity of a dramatic stage actress, she would lean in, sharing not-so-subtle advances and tales of her past transgressions, including a stint in prison for drug possession. And, just for good measure, she sprinkled in her plans for a future without John Smith. Ryler, navigating through uncharted waters, tried his best to keep the ship steady, steering the conversation back to neutral territories like square footage and the merits of hardwood floors.
The plot thickened when they reached the living room, home to a mounted deer head that could rival any buck hunter’s trophy. Ryler suggested, gently, that perhaps relocating the beast would make the space more inviting, especially to city-folk who may find taxidermy unusual or distracting. Jane’s reaction was as swift as it was fiery. With the hateful passion of Disney’s Maleficent, she launched into a soliloquy, fiercely proclaiming her autonomy over the buck’s location, and leaving Ryler to wonder if he had inadvertently triggered some ancient curse.
By the time the tour ended, and Ryler made his attempt at an elegant exit, he felt like he had just escaped a whirlwind. His head spinning. The story, however, took its final twist the next morning when John, shockingly oblivious to the impact of the day before, called, telling Ryler he was their preferred agent to list the house. It was then that Ryler, in a moment of clarity, chose the path less traveled by real estate agents, particularly one eager for business. He politely declined the listing, deciding that some adventures, and compensations, were better left unexplored.
In the aftermath, Ryler couldn’t help but reflect on the rollercoaster that was the Smith’s listing appointment, even to this day, it serves as a stark reminder that in the world of real estate, that houses might be made of bricks and mortar, but the stories within are crafted from the very essence of being human.
Written by:
Tyler Ross, published in Fauquier Times
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